Introduction
Ahhh… Do you smell that? Number two pencils…college-ruled notebook paper…spell components…!! It's the start of the academic year at the School for Gifted Unicorns!
And even better, now that Celestia's transitioning into retirement, she's started hoofing over school administration duties…to ME! I'll be in charge of my old alma mater!
Now, technically, because I'll be so busy with other princess duties, the position is SUPPOSED to be ceremonial... but come on, it's ME we're talking about! Ooooh, I have SO many new curriculum ideas...
After Quest 1
And THIS is the big one… "The 'School for Gifted Everycreature' Initiative: a 55-Point Plan for Adding Non-Ponies to the Faculty and Student Body!" Or "SGEI55PANPFSB", for short.
That's right: the way I see it, if you've got one horn and a talent for magic, you belong among Canterlot's brightest unicorn scholars - no matter WHAT kind of creature you are!
So, building on the School of Friendship model, we're welcoming our first non-ponies this year: a full complement of students in the spring, and two visiting professors right now!
Well, we WOULD'VE had THREE visiting professors, if the Abada Academy in Zebrat could've spared anypony... but I'm really happy with who we got! We all arranged to meet up at the café together...
After Quest 2
Urtica! Autumn Blaze! Oh, I'm SO glad you both could make it!
N-Not as glad as I am! I've wanted to introduce Equestria to the intricacies of Changeling library science since…well, practically since the Convocation of Creatures!
AND I CAME UP WITH A SONGWRITING ELECTIVE!!! Was that too loud? It was too loud, wasn't it? It's just, I'm still not used to talking so much, because of the whole Kirin thing--
…And also because I've never been a teacher before, but I HAVE written a lot of songs, so I'm nervous, but also EXCITED, and did you say something in your letter about High Tea!?
Haha - yes, I did! The Royal High Tea is one of the School for Gifted Unicorns' longest-standing traditions…a chance to bring parents, teachers, and students closer together!
It's normally held later in the year, but I moved it up to today to commemorate the start of your tenure. You two teaching here is a big deal - it deserves to be celebrated!
Awww, that's so sweet! Is that stern-looking pony with the cape and the goatee part of the celebration, too? The one standing right in front of the banquet hall and glaring at us!?
After Stage 1
…To rubber-stamp your school's re-accreditation papers; make a brief, friendly appearance at High Tea; and be on my way without causing a fuss! That is ALL.
Princess: after all I've been through…do you REALLY think I'd fail to remember your lesson on the importance of interspecies friendship? I could hardly call myself an educator!
No, no: speaking as both an EEA official and a School for Gifted Unicorns alumnus, I'm all for this bold new initiative! Autumn Glaze? Ursula? Welcome to the faculty!
Uh…thank you, Mr. Chancellor, but it's "Urtica", actu--
And may I say, it's an honor to see such distinguished dignitaries from BOTH of your nations attending the High Tea as well! Their presence does this school proud.
Oh, my… Well, uh…that's very kind of you, Chancellor Neighsay! And my apologies for jumping to conclusions about-- Wait what was that about "dignitaries"?
PRINCESS SOME CHANGELING GUY NAMED PHARYNX IS IN THE BANQUET HALL YELLING REALLY LOUD AND DESTROYING ALL THE PLACE SETTINGS AND WE'RE ALL VERY SCARED
After Stage 2
Razzum frazzum CANAPÉS… Changelings don't eat THESE, we eat CONSENSUALLY SHARED EMOTIONS! It's like this fancy-dancy pony school isn't even TRYING!
Mr. Pharynx? Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. We drafted a curriculum together a while back? Um…I hear what you're saying, but maybe there's a more constructive way to--
Yeah, I know who you are - and the Larvalsorri School System thanks you for your service, yadda yadda yadda. But that doesn't mean you're not on my last nerve!
Cause it's not JUST the dietary restrictions. It's that you've got OUR Urtica, pride and joy of the Changeling Archives…teachin' alongside a squirrely-eyed, shifty-hooved KIRIN!
For Hive's sake, they can't even TRANSFORM right! And when they try? Opens an invisible portal to the Chaos Dimension and messes local gravity RIGHT UP. And that's a proven fact!
Wait… IS that a proven fact?
What!? No! Uh-- What I mean to say is… Respectfully, Mr. Pharynx, you seem to be under a LOT of misconceptions about how the Kirin…uh…work.
You know, maybe we should make this a teaching moment. Uh… If there are any faculty around who'd be interested in giving an impromptu comparative biology lesson…now's your chance!
After Stage 3
……Huh. So THAT'S how a non-magical mammalian digestive system works. News to me! Seems a little…I dunno…squishy?
Squishy but ACCURATE! And hopefully enough to convince you that Autumn Blaze ISN'T a monster, and to let Urtica teach here…and to stop breaking all the school's flatware. (Please.)
And speaking of Urtica and Autumn Blaze: follow me, you two! Sure, the "High Tea" part of High Tea might…not have gone exactly to plan, but the Pony-Teacher Committee meeting is--
The Pony-Teacher Committee is being held hostage by an EXTREMELY unsettling guest lecturer!
It's true! This Kirin mare walked in, blocked the door, and started droning on about how evil Changelings are, in a SUSPICIOUSLY calm tone of voice! We're scared AND confused!
After Stage 4
…And as you can see from this diagram. One must always be wary of Changelings stealing your happiness. And sealing it in a jar. So they can eat your happiness later. On toast.
Yeeeeeeah, that's…uh… Rain Shine, was it? Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. Two questions: one, why are you talking like that; and two, could you maybe stop, please?
Or, ALTERNATIVELY, could you expand upon the "toast" thing? Because it really seems like you were about to get to the good part--
Twilight Sparkle. Hello. One. I am talking like this. So that I do not become overly angry. About how terrible Changelings are. And turn into a Nirik. Which would be inconsiderate.
And two. No. I will not stop talking. About how terrible Changelings are. Because they are very terrible. Thank you for asking.
(Sigh…) Here we go again… Could any teachers around help me explain to Rain Shine here how none of what she THINKS she knows about Changelings is actually true?
After Stage 5
Ugggh… Well, at least Rain Shine agreed to let Autumn Blaze still teach here…but that was exhausting! Changeling and Kirin anatomy really isn't my specialty…
If only Inkwell were here… Sure, she may be crotchety, and her teaching style's a little behind the times…but she's the best xenobiologist the school's got!
Actually…why ISN'T Inkwell here? I didn't see her in the banquet hall or the PTC room…or anywhere else in between! Urtica? Autumn Blaze? Do you think you could help me look for--
I'm going to stop you RIGHT THERE, because I'm NOT gonna help some plate-smashing, happiness-stealing…WHOEVER this is, do ANYTHING! ESPECIALLY not if there's toast involved!
How many times do I have to tell you, you…you explodey…vengeancey…uh…chaos goblin…!! CHANGELINGS DON'T EAT TOAST! And apparently, KIRIN are terrible listeners!
OH, YES!!! IT'S NIRIK TIME, YOU POSER!
OH, YEAH!?!? EAT LIBRARY SCIENCE, PUNK!!!
After Stage 6
Ohmigosh…Urtica, I am SO sorry! I don't have great control over my Nirik form, and all those rumors just GOT to me, and you don't deserve ANY of what I just said! YOU'RE SO COOL!
I'm sorry, too! I heard all those terrible things, and I… I just panicked… You're amazing, Autumn Blaze, and I can't wait to teach with you! Who even spread those rumors, anyway…?
IT WAS CHANCELLOR NEIGHSAY WHO DONE IT!
AND HE DID IT TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT!
Yep! Neighsay wasn't lyin' when he said he learned that non-ponies are worth being kind to…but that's about ALL he learned. Not like he went out of his way to study their culture!
I overheard him welcomin' Pharynx and Rain Shine to High Tea earlier… I'm sure he meant well - but whew, DAISY, did he mention a boatload of inaccurate Changeling and Kirin facts!
…And since Rain Shine and Pharynx thought he knew what he was talking about…each of them got a bad impression of the OTHER species, and things got out of hoof from there!
But one thing's for sure… We won't fix this friendship problem until we address it at the source! Come on, everycreature: let's show Chancellor Neighsay the error of his ways!
After Stage 7
Oh, my goodness… I can't believe I was so wrong…and about something so important! I'll have to go speak with Pharynx and Rain Shine as soon as I can - but first…
Autumn Blaze? Urtica? Please accept my sincerest apologies. If today has taught me anything, it's that simply accepting the existence those of other species is all well and good…
…But that putting in the work to understand and respect them is what is TRULY valuable. I do hope you are still willing to teach here…if only so that I can audit your classes!
Oh, I'll do you one better, Mr. Chancellor Guy: we're collaborating on a SONG together! It's gonna about cross-cultural DIALOGUE, and FRIENDSHIP, oh and also I accept your apology!
Heh… M-Me too! And if you're interested in learning more about Changelings, I have some books you could borrow… How about "The Decline and Fall of the Chrysalis Empire"?
Ooh, that's a good one… And hey: there's no better way to start off the school year than by learning something new about somecreature else! That's what friendship's all about!
Ending
Er… So, is High Tea still being served, then? Because I've been looking forward to those eclairs all y--